Delay Your Orgasm!The methods described
on this page were used by our models Alex and Lisa to stop Alex's premature ejaculation. How do you learn to develop ejaculatory control? How do you learn to move more slowly up through your arousal, and stay longer on the plateau between arousal and ejaculation before you shoot your load? You may have tried creams and lotions which claim to help you last longer by numbing your penis. These don't really stop premature ejaculation, and since they contain an anesthetic, they have the unfortunate side effect of numbing your partner's vagina. They do, however, take away the glorious feelings of thrusting into your partner's vagina. Perhaps you've tried using a condom. Sometimes this helps a bit, but some men actually find putting on a condom gets them even more aroused and likely to make the problem worse. Thinking about the most boring subject you can, or doing mental arithmetic, is often recommended as a distraction while you thrust. But this doesn't work either! For one thing it takes you away from the pleasure of the sex act and all its wonderful feelings. For another your partner may sense that you are no longer with her - that you have become a bit distanced from her. And third, it just doesn't work! Some men try to keep their arousal down by avoiding foreplay and just getting "stuck in". But avoiding foreplay is a recipe for disaster. You'll ejaculate just as quickly, but because you didn't spend any time on foreplay your partner will be even less sexually fulfilled. Another idea is to have sex twice. But most guys find they only last a little longer the second time around, and in any case the pressure that you put on yourself by trying to come again on demand may well make you more anxious and therefore contribute to the rapid ejaculation you're experiencing. In the end, you are going to have to learn how to control your arousal so as to keep it below the level where your ejaculation reflex is triggered. There's an outline of how you can do it below, but for the full instructions and the complete set of photographs, please see this page. Lie down on your back next to your partner, both of you naked and comfortable. Begin by having your partner gently touch, kiss and caress your whole body with her hands, lips and tongue. Relax and enjoy the sensations. When you have a good erection, close your eyes, and ask her to begin masturbating your penis. If you need lubrication to make this comfortable use her saliva. No oral sex.
The next step is to learn how to accept more stimulation without rushing towards your orgasm. As before, slow arousal and gentle masturbation are the first steps of the exercise. This time your partner can use a lubricant on your penis, and she can also give you oral sex as she masturbates you. Lie still and don't tense your muscles. The lubrication, and the more intense stimulation it produces, will teach you a further level of control. If you really feel yourself on the absolute edge of ejaculation, get up and walk around. This may stop the ejaculation and give you time to get your arousal level down. Wait a few minutes before you ask your partner to resume masturbating you. Over the course of a week or two, you will learn to tolerate higher levels of arousal without coming. After working on this with your partner - say 2 or 3 times a week for 4 weeks - you will find that you can more easily stay aroused without ejaculating. Next, slide your penis along the lips of her vulva without entering her. This will all be very exciting and no doubt you'll feel your arousal going up. But ask her to lift her vulva off your penis when you feel you are approaching the moment of ejaculatory inevitability. Rest for as long as necessary to reduce your arousal level to the point where she can safely get back on your penis and slide her vulva along it again. Repeat this whole stop-start sequence 5 or 6 times, then continue to orgasm. Enjoy it! You're going to do this for three weeks, and with each week that passes, you can introduce more stimulation into the routine. But all the time, you need to keep your awareness of your arousal, and monitor where you are on the road to ejaculation. Read the full instructions at here. You are now within sight of being able to sustain vaginal intercourse without worrying about premature ejaculation. Prolonged vaginal intercourse at that. Imagine being able to make love for as long as you want! OK, so what do you do? Start, as always, with sexual caresses and gentle play. Satisfy your partner if she wants it - and then have sex with your partner on top while you lie on your back. Your partner must be wet so you can get into her easily. When you're sure you're in control of your arousal, with your partner on top, put your penis inside her vagina and rest there without moving. If all goes well, you are now in her and comfortably in control of your ejaculation. Guide her up and down on your penis with your hands on her hips until you are comfortably aroused but not going to ejaculate. Keep it that way by adjusting the speed and depth of your partner's movements. Don't move yourself! Stop her moving and rest if you get too close to coming. You can even take your penis out of her vagina and rest if you feel this to be more helpful in developing your self-control. Resume when your arousal has decreased. Your desire to ejaculate will decrease at this point, and when it has done so, guide her into resuming her movements, once again pausing when you get near the point of ejaculatory inevitability. The longer you both go on practicing this before you ejaculate, the more control you are developing. The crucial thing is that you try and focus on what you're feeling all the time, so that you know when you're about to ejaculate and can stop her moving before it happens. The last big step is for you to actually begin thrusting. Do this gently at first, so as to work out how aroused you get and how quickly you move towards orgasm. The essential point to remember is that you are in control: you can control the speed and depth of your thrusting to regulate your arousal. At some point you will find a balance between movement and arousal and you'll then be able to continue thrusting for as long as you want to without coming!
|
|
|