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Question on premature ejaculation treatment: I have premature ejaculation - and I have had it since I started having sex 4 years ago. Now it is getting embarrassing, I mean I have been with my girl long enough to learn  how to control my ejaculation, but in fact I am still shooting my load just as quickly as ever. Fortunately I can get back to full erection quickly - say ten minutes or so, and I do last longer the second time, but generally it only takes me between six and seven minutes to come. Please advise me on how to stop this happening.

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Answer 1: This is not, strictly speaking, premature ejaculation, which is defined as coming in two minutes or less more than half the times you have sex. However, I can quite understand why you would want to last longer. Having said that, there are many men who would give a lot to be in your position, especially as you can get back in the saddle so quickly.

Answer 2: Stop every so often during sex. Change positions, say from missionary to woman on top. By the way, the missionary position is the worst one for ejaculation control for a man. If you want to last longer during intercourse, you'd be a lot better off with her on top, controlling the speed and depth of thrusting.

Answer 3: I don't think a few minutes is ever enough, especially for a woman. "Premature" to me is anything that happens before a woman has had a vaginal orgasm - say ten or twenty minutes of vaginal thrusting. I read somewhere that a woman would never come from vaginal intercourse until she had had a thousand strokes of the penis.  I know this is an exaggeration, but it makes a point - that the responsibility is on the man to make sure that his partner has had enough vaginal intercourse to be satisfied. So the responsibility is also on the man to ensure he learns how to control his ejaculation.

Question: It's always been in the back of my mind that perhaps my small penis size and my moderate lack of ejaculation control are linked. When I refer to lack of control, I simply mean that I cannot control when I ejaculate with my wife as well as I'd like. I wouldn't go as far as saying I have premature ejaculation, as I can last anywhere from 2-10 minutes, but it is out of my hands when things get really hot as to whether or not I can control myself. As you can imagine, and some may know first hand, this is frustrating for both myself and especially my wife. She and I have talked and she has said that in her experience larger men have seemed to have more control and stamina than smaller men, so my question to the ladies in this forum is whether your experience is similar. I can imagine a host of reasons why logically this could be the case, such as:

Smaller penises are more likely to enter all the way to the hilt each thrust, therefore maximizing the time that the shaft of the penis is inside the vagina.

Smaller men may be more self conscious about their size, and their anxiety may be part of the problem

Smaller men may simply try harder during intercourse, therefore thrusting faster than men with an average or larger sized penis, and so ejaculating sooner.

Anyway, any or all of these could be the case with my own problem, but ladies do you notice any correlation?

Answer 1: Good question!! Had me thinking for a while...I have not found any correlation between penis size and ejaculation speed. In fact, my ex was 9" and lasted 10 - 30 minutes, while my husband, when we first met lasted 3-4 hours, even though his penis is 6" long. (In case you think that 3 hours would be great, you're wrong. The first couple of times I thought he was superman, and called him that. Then it got annoying. I started worrying that I was not pleasing him. I totally got down on myself, and when I talked to him about it, he told me that he has always been this way. A lot of times, his exes would quit before he came, so he went unsatisfied. We used to stop for smoke breaks, or go grab a sandwich, anything to pass the time, because it was exhausting! And I developed "honey-moon-itis" which is chronic bladder infections from all the intercourse.) Now that we have normal sex (5 - 30 minutes) I am much happier. This is amazing considering the way it used to be, and he was really concerned about it. After talking to a good friend of mine, we narrowed it down to trust. In his past relationships - only three of them - it was amazing if he came, and this was usually only after some hours of lovemaking and lots of lube. With me, he is so secure, and turned on, that he ejaculates. Could it be the same with you? 

Answer 2: Do you use Kegel exercises? That is, exercise the muscle that stops the flow of your urine? You may find this helps. I know that for some men it has. 

Answer 3: I'm sure someone, somewhere has done a study on penis size and premature ejaculation, but I'd venture to say that on average, a man's staying power or "time on the clock" is much shorter than many think. Anyone have any stats on this? Not necessarily small vs large stats, but general information on the average amount of time a man can thrust from start to finish. I'd be interested to hear of treatment methods for premature ejaculation.

Answer 4: I'm no expert on this, but premature ejaculation (enter, thrust and ejaculate) is one thing. Two to ten minutes is another and may be satisfactory for some women.

Answer 5: In my younger days I was capable of staying hard after I ejaculated so I didn't need to learn self-control. I could orgasm two or three times without stopping and it was not uncommon to have four hour sex sessions with 45-60 minute stretches of straight intercourse. The problems came when I reached around age 25: I gradually began losing my erection after my first orgasm in the first 2-10 minutes. I found myself unable to fully please my wife. This has been extremely frustrating for both myself and my wife. It is really hard for me to enjoy my orgasms during intercourse because I always, even now, try to continue to ensure she is satisfied. I wind up missing the pleasure of my orgasm. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, but it is a frustrating situation. My wife and I have begun using toys so she never lacks satisfaction, but we have had to change our habits somewhat to accommodate my tendency to over-rapid ejaculation. 

Answer 6: I am 18 years old and my penis is 7 inches long and 5.5 inches around. My longest  time before ejaculation is 30 minutes, that's with a steady pace. I see it like this. The more times you ejaculate, the longer you are able to sustain yourself. Older men are not as able to have repeat orgasms. The most orgasms I have had is 3. This is with 5 minute breaks that I use to give her oral pleasure. So if you are looking at it that way then I can say that my longest time is about 2 hours. Then there is the vagina of the woman you are having sex with. More often than not a tight woman will make you ejaculate faster than normal. Then you have to look at your state of mind during sex. If you're really hot and turned on, of course you're going to be done quickly. I'm not saying try not to get turned on, though! It's just that you need to moderate your excitement. It's like the virgin male. It's not necessarily because it's his first time that he ejaculates so fast, it's more that he is so excited about having sex for the first time. To answer your question: I do believe size has a part in stamina, but you also have to look at other factors. These factors are age, state of mind, and the woman.

Answer 7: For me personally there are many factors involved in the origin and treatment of rapid  ejaculation. When I was younger (in my teens and 20's) I was more conscious of my smaller size and I think that led to a quick ejaculation. As I matured in my mind and became more secure in myself, I noticed my stamina increased significantly. I was able to go hours with my wife and ejaculate several times. I don't know who was more amazed...her or me. Today, staying power is about my state of mind, the amount of alcohol I've consumed, and the circumstances. I don't have the quick ejaculation issue anymore and haven't had for years, but the difference between 30 minutes and all night is tied to those issues and nothing else. 

Answer 8: For me, position has a lot to do with premature ejaculation. If my wife is on top I can almost always last as long as necessary for her to come first (which is always preferred in my book). But when I'm on top, I will almost always come first no matter how hard I try not to. Of course some of this may have to do with how excited my wife is in relation to each position (i.e. she probably comes faster when she is on top). And if I take her from behind she either plays with herself or uses a vibrator while we fuck so that she will come faster. Indeed, she usually comes first, and 99% of the time I come within 10 to 15 seconds of her orgasm. This is a great treatment for premature ejaculation!

Other pages on treatment of premature ejaculation:

Notes on treating premature ejaculation

Risk factors for premature ejaculation

Treatment for premature ejaculation

How to treat PE, treatments for premature ejaculation

How to treat PE, non-drug treatments for premature ejaculation

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